Lessons from the Finest Man in the World

Lessons from the finest man in the world.

The finest human in the world just died and the world is still going without him, not knowing that they just lost one of the nicest and most compassionate men this country has ever had in it.  I hope that there are or will be others like him that will add this kind of light to the world, I have yet to meet anyone who compares. It is so much harder to be constantly kind and compassionate than it is to think only of yourself and your family.

My grandfather, Carl, was born in Oklahoma and grew up there and in Kansas. He grew up on what he called “the poor farm”.  He was frugal and conscientious even as a child. His sister Genta used to like to tell the story of Carl and his brother Clyde and the Christmas underwear. The family was so poor like so many during that period that what the children received for Christmas were necessities like socks and underwear. Each year Clyde would break right into his package of new underwear or socks and wear them to frazzles before Carl had even used the second pair. Carl would save his new underwear until one of his current collection was all holes. The only problem is that Clyde would sneak in and use all Carl’s new ones before he could even get out his second pair. This was the way Carl was. He scrimped and saved and went without so that he could leave something for others. He was the first to help a person in need. He spent countless hours doing favors for friends and strangers alike but rarely told a soul. I would not have known had random people not come up to me throughout my life and shared the things he did for them.  He was always wanting to help.  As a typical example, one day I was eating lunch with him at his retirement home and a waitress who was maybe 25 years old came up to me and told me that she needed to share how wonderful my grandfather was.  She told me that he overheard her telling a co-worker that she needed to pick her boyfriend up at the airport but her car had broken down and she was too low on cash to rent a car or take a cab. My grandfather graciously offered to take her to the airport and to drive her and her boyfriend back to her home after. The young girl was startled that this 90 something year old man who she barely knew would offer to do something like this for her. This is probably one time in thousands that he quietly and without desire of recognition went out of his way to be of help to someone who needed it.

My grandfather was a conservative. My earliest memories of politics all involve my grandfather and grandmother. They were the people who talked to me about world events and about politics and the differences in people’s beliefs and truths. They explained to me their political views as they relate to their values.  As I got older, my grandparents got even more interested in Washington when my grandfather’s nephew started working for Ronald Reagan while he was governor of California. Soon, his nephew followed Reagan to Washington and became George H.W. Bush’s first chief of staff while he was Vice President under Reagan. My grandfather could not have been prouder of his sister’s oldest son. He was a loyal supporter of both President Reagan and President Bush. My grandparents got to meet George and Barbara Bush and even had their picture taken with them. In the picture, my grandfather looked like the proudest man on earth. What a day that must have been for this man who grew up on the “poor farm” in rural Oklahoma.

My grandfather was a conservative for so many reasons, but the reasons I know were foremost in his mind were because of the economic stances, the protection of freedom and liberty and the reasonable expectations of limited government. He grew up in the depression and learned from an early age how with hard work, consistent savings and never spending what you don’t have could keep you and your family afloat during the hard times. He was in the army in WWII and knew firsthand how important a limited government was to our country. He saw what communism and Nazism did to the world and how evil both were. He saw how socialism led to communism and knew the threats that it inevitably put on a society. Unlike so many voters today, he had studied history and understood the importance of freedom and liberty and his political beliefs were founded in thought and reality.  He was an educated voter and learned what he was voting for and why before he cast his choice. It was important to him that his country stay a great place for all Americans.

When I bought my first house, my grandfather would send me coupons each week that he had sat and hand clipped for me. He would call for a five-minute chat every Sunday and would end the conversation with what products are most helpful to have coupons for so that he could tailor his clippings for my family. He had plenty of money, he knew we were fine financially, but to him it was always important to save where you could so that you could give when you needed to. He kept the call to five minutes because back then, long distance calls were 13 cents a minute and so we needed to talk efficiently in order to conserve money. He had a list of what we would talk about written down before he called and he would tick off question after question until his list was complete. I did get my time to share with them as well, but if I was about to run over the allotted time, he would hurry me through and promise to start with that topic next call.  I knew the routine and unless there was a crisis rarely did we break it during his calls. (Sometimes my grandma would be worried about something we had discussed and would call back for a longer chat while he was golfing but I would bet he never questioned her about those additional phone charges later.) That was just who he was.  He wouldn’t spend the money himself or for himself but he would do anything for those he loved. He felt that the country should be run that way too. He wanted our leaders to show fiscal conservatism and not overspend or over-promise what we could not afford.

My grandfather spent the last few years of his life in the nursing ward of a very nice retirement community. He wanted desperately to leave something to his son and granddaughters and refused to get a single room that would use more of the money he hoped he could leave to us. His roommate had never owned and television and didn’t like to hear one on so my grandpa watched with the sound off. While I hated this for him, in one respect I am very glad that he didn’t have to hear about all the horrible things that have been happening in our country. I would hate to have him stressed out about the way people act these days and all the horrible ways people are treating each other. I would hate to have him feel judged so harshly by opponents to his political views. How horrible it would have been for him to end his life listening to people call him and his family racists and accuse them of being uncaring people just because of how they voted. How sad would it have been if he had social media and awoke to friends accusing him and his family of not caring and of being hateful people. How bad would this man who didn’t judge people by their color or their social standing feel if he knew that he and his family were being lied about every day on the news and in newspapers?  How would he feel listening to entitled celebrities say that they hope his great grandsons lose their rights and all white males are exterminated just for being white males? How would he feel knowing the country he fought for in the Army thought he was a deplorable person? I am very glad he didn’t know the extent of how the world has fallen into the hands of the media pitting friends and neighbors against each other. I am grateful that he didn’t wake up each day to the realization that his friends are buying into the media’s attempts at division. He worked so hard as an American soldier and as an American to protect and serve America yet some of his countrymen don’t like what America stands for and want Globalism instead. These are not his principals or the principals of his generation who kept America the safest, most free and most profitable country in the world during their time running the country.

My grandfather was a good, moral, giving, caring, beautiful person and I read daily how many people I know feel about people that share his beliefs. I have read that they want anyone like him dead, and they wish all people who vote the way he did would have all their rights stripped from them. I read how they feel it is OK to support people with face masks lighting people on fire and beating people up because they have a shirt supporting someone they don’t like. I read how they tell their kids that anyone who voted for Trump wants them deported. I know by their posts and likes that they have not studied why these things are happening in our country and that they do not know better than to let the media control them and hate to consume them. I read their comments and their judgments and realize that I need to have the compassion that my grandfather tried so hard to model for us when he was alive. There is a way to stand by your beliefs without hurting others because of theirs. He did this every single day of his life. He as a Republican conservative white male did this every -single - day! He woke up and went to work thinking of others and what he could do to make the lives of other people better. He went out into the world and found those who could use a little help and helped them one by one. He treated people with fairness and compassion and did not judge them based on their skin tone, their wealth or their political party. He listened to those with opposing views and acknowledged their perspective without having to fight to insert his. He quietly waited for his next turn to vote when a President or congressman he did not approve of was in office without belittling those who voted for that person. He allowed those votes that were different then his to count and gave those voted in the chance to do good for his country all the while hoping that they would succeed so that his country that he loved would be strong. He allowed people the right to have a different view and yet he still treated them the same way he would have if he agreed with them.

This is a challenge in today’s climate. I am glad that he does not have to see the struggle that friends and family are having and that he does not have to worry when he sends his kids off to school that they will be beaten up for their viewpoints. I am glad that he doesn't know that the country he fought so hard for no longer educates people to the threats of yesterday as they always did before. I am glad that a man like him did not have to see his grandchildren called names that do not support who they are as people and I am grateful that he lived in a time where it was OK for him to be proud of his country, of his heritage and of himself even as a white male.

If America can win this fight against Globalists and survive as a country, I hope my sons will be able to model themselves after my grandfather. I hope that they will show others the same compassion and lack of judgement that he displayed on a daily basis. I hope that they can stand tall and be proud of their heritage and proud of being a white male because they had no choice in being born either white or male. I hope that they will be allowed to thrive yet I hope that they can learn to put others first in a world that is so self oriented. I hope that one day they will be allowed to be proud to be Americans and that they will see a country working together to better the lives of ALL of its citizens not by pulling some down but by building ALL up.