Saturday, November 17, 2012

Thankfulness....as usual, a long read, by Janet


I have yet to post a thankful post on Facebook. Mostly this is because I don't want to come up with thirty individual things I am thankful for. I think I have more than that, but maybe I have less.  Whatever the case, I don't want to be on day 29 and think, oh no, I have five more I need to put out there, or to be on day 29 and having to post I am thankful for my mailman or some sort of nonsense like that.   I am not sure if I have 30 days worth or not, so this is how I am going to do this whole thing.  I mean, I really hate to be left out after all!  
After reviewing all my friend’s posts and realizing that it is AWESOME to be thankful, I want to post my own but in a very overwhelmingly long version, not daily, but only once, and meant to be read only by those who want to know what I am thankful for.  This is where the rest of you depart for greener pastures, because, truly, I don’t know how to write in short form, so this, no doubt will end up very long.  I will add that I will not tell you I am thankful for my wallpaper or for the flowers I recently planted in my garden.  Those are not things I am really thankful for.  Those are things I like.  The things I am thankful for are human....and also furry.

I am most, most, most thankful for my family….immediate and otherwise.  I have been blessed with a wonderful, patient and understanding husband that puts up with all my craziness and still sticks around for more.  I got lucky and married the man of my dreams and I could ask nothing more in life than that.   I am thankful for my two daughters, both creative, smart and beautiful, that first gave my life meaning. Without these two beautiful people,  I would be lost.  They taught me how to love and how to be loved.  They are forever in my heart and I am forever tied to them.  I am thankful for my sons.  Two acquired and the one born to me.  All cemented into my heart in a way that very few people ever will be.  I am thankful and unbelievably blessed for having been chosen by one son to be his mother.  How many moms can say that? I am eternally grateful for this and for him.  I am grateful as well that I was graced with a boy of my own.  He is the sweetest most loving little person and he bridged our step families into one.  This little person tied us all together for eternity, and then decided to be completely awesome and sweet to boot.  Knowing Kellan is a blessing.  I am so happy that he is mine!

I am grateful for my extended family.  My biological sister, who is my rock.  The sister who did not start out as my ally, but who is now the person I turn to first for help, laughter, fun, condolences and support.  Without her I am lost.   I am grateful for my step brother and sisters that have brought so much into my life.  Without them, I don’t know how I could feel whole.  They are in my soul like they were in my genes.  They have been there forever, we have been through everything and they stand by my side and by the side of my family at all times and I am forever grateful.  My life is enriched by them being in it and I am completely blessed to be able to call them brother and sisters.  I am not even sure who I would be without them.  They truly take the step out of the step family  They are my family.  I am thankful for my step father who when nobody was looking snuck me help in the form of a check for the repair of my broken down car and did so without asking for recognition or praise as is so his nature.  He is gracious and loving and took on a pretty damned terrible teenager and did so with love and gentleness.  He has enriched my life just by being in it.  I am thankful to have a stepmother who has been such a present person in the lives of my children.  My son looks so forward to seeing her and getting e cards sent from her.  My daughter feels her support and that goes such a long way in the life of a 15 year old!  I am thankful for my other step sister who is an unbelievably talented artist who I am just recently getting to know.  She defines cool and you can find her picture in most grocery stores on a bottle of hot sauce, because she is just that cool!

I am grateful for my mother and father who have supported me through all my life even when I was not fun to support.  After going through the teenage years with my own children, I realize that it was harder than I imagined to be my parent.  Raising a headstrong opinionated kid can’t be easy.  Doing it as single parents, even harder.  My mom took the early shift in my life and my dad the latter.  I have been equally parented.  I am grateful to still have the desire to call them and talk to them and seek them out to have fun with.  From what I hear, that is something!  I am forever grateful to my mother who has been there every step of the way with my children. She is their go to person.  The one they call when mom just can’t understand.  I love that. 

I am so completely thankful for my grandparents.  Only one is still living, but he is the best human being I have ever had the privilege to meet.  I would put him up against anyone else’s best person and I have no doubt in my mind he would win whatever award might be given to the best person alive.  He is kind, honest, sincere, truthful, and humble.  He is not too good to help anyone in need nor is he too whatever to sink to a level in which he would hurt another person.  My grandmothers who are no longer alive were also awesome.  One I think of every day for her lessons.  She was like a mother and I hear her voice everywhere.  She is my safe place and the person that no matter how long ago she died, is still the brightest spot in my heart.  I am forever connected to her and forever the words that she spoke to me when she was alive will be alive in my heart.  The other, she was a friend.  She was honest and blunt and I loved to be with her and hear what she had to say.  (Most of the time it was what no other person had the courage to say.)   She had more friends that you could count and was loved by so many.  I never did figure her out, but I am probably most like her in my actions and for this I am not truly grateful.  J IN the early days of my children’s lives, she was a huge help.  She would talk to me during the endless hours I spent rocking my children to sleep.  The late night conversations and the little tips on what to avoid and what to really look into were priceless.  Knowing her was a blessing because I better understand myself.  My grandpa that passed away a bit ago was hilarious.  He was fierce, but not.  He was friendly, but not.  He was funny, but not.  He was the opposite of himself all the time.  I loved this man.  He paid me to bother my grandma and who could not love a person like that.  He had high values and was a loving husband. 

My cousins….I cherish each one of them.  I was lucky enough to get to know most of them very well, and I am so lucky that most of them are still in my life on a very current basis.  My childhood would not be the same without them.  They were like siblings and we grew up together.  These memories are some of my favorites. 

Lastly, my friends.  I have lived in a few places and have met people from all walks of life. I am lucky to have kept in touch with friends from my childhood and adolescence.  These friends mean the world to me.  People told me that we would all go our separate ways and lose touch, but I am so happy that no matter what, most of us stay connected. I hope that the few that are not still, will be again.  I am grateful to have had the chance to get to know and love people from all parts of the world, and all religious, political and worldly spectrums.  I cherish the friendships that I have made from city to city and mostly I cherish the real people that I have met that are willing to be real, to be in the present and to contribute to my life and/or the life of my children.  I can’t believe my fortune when I think about all the people that have come into my life that have made me think, made me grow and who have not been afraid to be real with me. Those are the friends that I will cherish for a lifetime.  They don’t all fit into a box, and for that I am so grateful.  I have had the pleasure of having friends that are completely out of the box thinkers and actors, people that tow the straight line, people who want to investigate every thought and idea, those who want only to live in the moment, and those whose moral compass guides them on a straight path at all times.  To all of you, no matter what your philosophy or opinion is on any given subject I am blessed that you came into my life for one reason or the other, and provided you have treated me and my family fairly,  I am glad to have known you,  I will be glad to know you forever. 
Lastly, I am seriously thankful for my cats.  One of them , Bandit really is awesome. He is comforting, sweet, funny and smart.  If someone in my family is feeling lonely or sad, he is the first person to be by their side.  This is something for sure.  I am not thankful for his insulin shots twice a day even while we are out of town and having to pay someone to come over twice a day to do it, but I am so thankful for him that I force my husband to pay for that anyway.  Bandit rocks, and he really should be able to rock a few more years of our lives.   I include the other cat because I feel I have to but I am not really sure if I am truly thankful for her or not.  Her constant barfing due to bulumia is not something I am thankful for as well as so many other unmentionables, but I just feel that i need to  be thankful for her, so  I will say that I am.  I mean, she is kinda cute.

I’m not sure about the origins of anything nor am I willing to claim I know anything, but I feel that there is a reason that we encounter the people that we do, and I am positive that MOST of the people I have encountered over my lifetime have led me to where I am now and I am grateful for all of you for that!
 

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